Grief and the Phases of the Moon
Grief is an individual process. It needs time, and it moves through many different phases, much like the moon, which grows and diminishes a little each day, always in motion, always changing.
If you are not very familiar with the lunar calendar, here are a few fundamentals: the lunar cycle lasts an average of 29.5 days. It is an ever-repeating journey, new moon, waxing moon, full moon, waning moon, new moon again, and so on. The new moon and the full moon are the opposing poles of this cycle. Between them, the moon grows larger, then gradually diminishes until it is no longer visible. This cycle repeats itself approximately every month.
The Moon and Its Deep Influence on Water
The moon governs the turning of the tides, shaping ebb and flow. Because the human body is more than half water, it stands to reason that we, too, feel the moon's pull. Ebb and flow become a powerful image for the waves of grief that wash over us, or that gradually draw away their force.
Many people find themselves drawn instinctively to the sea when they need to clear their minds and gather new strength. There is something in the wind and the wide water that feels like a small beginning again, a quiet surge of energy.
The New Moon
The new moon offers the ideal conditions for a new beginning. Allow yourself to imagine a new vision for your future, however tentative and fragile it may feel.
The Waxing Moon
This phase is one of growth, of building, of gathering strength. Use this energy to take the first small steps towards what you have been intending. Move entirely at your own pace.
The Full Moon
Fullness on every level. Emotions may rise to the surface and sensitivity to pain can be heightened. Try, as gently as you can, to simply receive what arises.
The Waning Moon
The high energy softens again and tensions begin to release. This is a time when your strength can be used with quiet efficiency, and you may find yourself more willing to venture out, and able to see things with a little more lightness once more.
In the medallion pictured here, the hair of a beloved person has been laid into the moon phases pattern. Just as grief itself is not constant, the feelings it brings move, sometimes overwhelming, draining every reserve of strength, sometimes opening towards new energy and a readiness for what comes next. There is much we can learn from the rhythms of the natural world, and in that learning, much that becomes a little easier to understand.